Letting go...
In the 2013 Frozen movie, Queen Elsa of Arendelle has to let go of everything, including her beloved sister Anna and her kingdom, in order to discover herself. In the process, she gains control over her magic and, more importantly, recovers and strengthens the bond between her and Anna.
This I know. However, it took me a while to appreciate that abstract things, including her emotion, feeling, and memories, are the most difficult things for her to let go. Feeling and emotion associated with past memories hide deep within our psyche. There, they unwittingly affect our thoughts and action. Like Elsa, we sometimes have to learn to let go.
Process of letting go
Acceptance is deeply powerful. Acceptance entails avoiding denial and realizing our inability to change reality. It is about accepting the world as it is, people as they are, and you as yourself.
Forgiveness follows acceptance. Once we are able to accept the things we cannot change, it becomes easier to step forward and make peace with the past. This also means forgiving yourself and practicing self-compassion. This may be even more difficult than forgiving others, particularly if you struggle with feeling worthy or deserving.
Focusing on the present can boost feelings of happiness and put you in the driver’s seat of your thoughts and emotions. It helps us to appreciated the present moment and avoid ruminate on past mistakes.
Embrace change involves realizing that the world doesn’t follow a straight path. It is often full of twists and turns, and our ability to adapt to these changes can help us in the long-term. This is challenging for a lot of people because our brains naturally gravitate toward routine and familiarity (even if it’s negative).
Seeking support since there is so much to gain anytime we can lean on another’s shoulder. This step can take on many forms, ranging from speaking with a trusted friend to seeing a therapist to attending group support sessions.
The process of letting go can bring acute but temporary pain; however, it will ease the chronic pain that we have carried from the past. It might not be a one time event and can require multiple iteration.